I see it completely different. Coming from the EU, I hate going to restaurants in the US because of the tipping culture. I dont mind leaving something if the service has been amazing, but then it might be 5e when the family have had a full meal etc. Being forced to pay part of the staff salary directly, with staff getting angry / annoyed when you dont leave enough is backwards to me. Its not that the math is hard, its about having to decide what your income is going to be based on how you work. Thats not my business to deal with, thats the management / workers business. I almost feel like it creates a culture of entitled people (Karen Generators), who believe they can do what they want.
Im also assuming that a lot of waiters dont pay taxes on the tips (at least when they are paid in cash), which would probably account for some of the difference in income between salary and tips. Here in the EU (most of the countries) at least we have good healthcare and education that is payed from those taxes, so you dont need to pay a 1k private insurance on a waiters salary.
Also, if I see something advertised as 5€ I expect to pay 5€. Having to pay more then the advertised price feels like I've been tricked.
I've never been in the US, but just thinking about having to pay more then what was written and knowing that due to not having a lot of money, I could get in trouble, gives me anxiety...
You would not get in "trouble" - I was a waiter at a restaurant in New York where the waiters make $0 per hour, only tips, and often we had customers from France or Germany who would sit and drink coffee for 3 or 4 hours, pay for the coffee and leave no tip. We waiters were upset about it because they did not understand that we are only paid by the customers, not the restaurant. But no one ever got in trouble.
When I lived in France and spent time in Germany, I always tipped a lot just to make a statement... but I understand that the waiters there are actually paid by the restaurants, so it's not necessary.
That's how it is. At the end of the year, they ask you how much you made in tips, calculate the tax off that and then "pay" you the exact amount of your taxes by giving it to the government.
It's the same as strippers. Better, because strippers often have to pay to dance.
Second, even if it DID happen, that is the fantastically rare situation, that is extremely bizzare. You can read here and everywhere that this is not how it is done, so you don't make a judgement based on one single time, especially when no one else ever has had that experience.
I've left restaurants many times without paying a tip because of exceptionally poor service, it's never happened to me. I've never heard it happening to anyone.
Yeah, totally 100% do not believe you. Sorry, man. I just don't. Again, unless that server was actually and really truly mentally ill, and not using the term colloquially.
I don't think they meant "trouble" as in "they'll be in trouble with the restaurant for not tipping." I read it as "I'll be in (financial) trouble because I'll run out of money sooner than I expected" which would be a concern of mine as well in their shoes.
Right. But you KNOW that tips are used in the USA. So if you KNOW that tips are 15%, what is the big deal? You just add 15% to your $100 meal and you pay your $115. Who cares about the advertised price? Why is that such a holy of holies to genuflect in front of? You are not tricked. You know that it is custom to pay 15%. How are you tricked? You aren't.
The thing is, you DON'T have to tip. I have walked out of restaurants before without tipping when I got super shitty service. You can pay 5% or 10% or 15% or 20% or 25%.
And the thing is that here in the USA, everyone LOVES tipping. Customers, good nice customers, love tipping. Usually it is the whiny bitchy horrible customers that don't like tipping, and if there was not tipping, they would be whiny bitchy horrible customers anyways. This much I know to be true.
If you don't have a lot of money, just go and be honest and tell the wait staff that. Be honest. I mean, don't be going and ordering $800 worth of food and say you don't have a lot of money because that would be horrible thing. But if you have a very little money, just apologize and say you'd love to but can't.
Also, these days you can go online and see exactly how much the food is, and add on the tip. Just see what you want, add 15%, and you know. This is not difficult. It won't get you in trouble if you take an extra 30 seconds to look up the menu on line, right? And ffs, if you order $30 dinner, and the tip is $4.50 and you don't have enough money to cover it, why on earth would you go out to a restaurant in the first place? Stay at home and make a nice pasta dinner that is just as good as a restaurant and pay $1 or $1.50. Or euros, I think the exchange rate is pretty close to one-to-one. If you go out to a restaurant and go broke over $4.50, your issues are a lot deeper and worse than not having $4.50 tip. Like, you should see a professional therapist about why you would blow the tiny bit of money that you do have on a $30 meal when you can spend $1 and eat at home.
Tbf there are still examples of this in the EU. At least here in the Netherlands, if you purchase any drinks in recyclable bottles, you pay a surcharge at the register which can then be reimbursed when you bring the bottle back. It's not a large discrepancy (25¢ I think?) but it bit me once when I first arrived and I was paying for everything with cash. I had enough money for everything except the bottle surcharge.
But I still have to pay for it upfront. And if I'm out and about in the city and stop into AH to buy a drink to carry with me, then I either need to carry the bottle with me the rest of the day or throw it away and lose my "deposit".
The point is that it's not included on the label as the price I pay at the register.
Right, it's still a deposit, and not a surcharge. The whole point is that you don't throw it away. That's exactly what makes a 'surcharge' into a 'deposit'.
Most places in the US don’t even include all taxes in the prices they display so you will have to do some calculation anyway. It’s weird coming from Europe but you kind of get used to it, at least I hope.
You definitely get used to it. Having lived in both places, it's not really a big deal.
For me, living in Texas, I would assume the final price is 10% more than the sticker price calculation. When I was buying groceries, this generally meant I was always "under" my estimate because most food isn't taxable in Texas. But I was never surprised by the final total at the register. At restaurants I assumed 20-25% depending on what the numbers were.
Now that I live in Europe, I don't even notice. They tell me the total, I pay. End of story.
There is also what comes across as fake friendliness when going to a restaurant in the US.
> Hi, my name is Bobby, I am gonna be your server today. Blah blah blah blah...
It always comes across as angling for tip money. Waiters here don't usually introduce themselves by name and you generally have less interaction unless of course you start conversing. I prefer the lack of expectation if the and waiter does a good job, then I am more than happy to tip a little. I am in Catalonia where tipping isn't a big thing. Not sure if it's because of the Catalan reputation for being tight with money, or having read Orwell's "Homage to Catalonia", it is related to when tipping was banned and the city was run by anarchists.
What do you call your waiter when you need to get their attention?
In America we like to call people by their name, not their title, especially for a service role. Otherwise it comes off as very classist and elitist. Someone calling out "Waiter!" would come off as a bit of an asshole, to be honest.
I can’t think of a time I called my waiter. I usually just make eye contact and raise my finger in what seems like a universal “I have a question” posture.
But if they are busy, then I'll do an "Excuse me" really nicely and just loud enough so they can hear - not too loudly, and they will nod and that usually is it, and I know it to mean that they will get to me as soon as they can, they acknowledged me. And if it is super busy, I'm cool if it takes a little longer than usual. It happens. If I'm in a hurry, I'd go to McDonalds. Not really, I hate it, but that's the idea.
I mean ... practically anything is grounds for taking offense in America. Americans are like people who were suddenly told they're allowed to be offended, and now they're on a binge of being offended by everything. I probably wouldn't yell "hey kid" to my waiter at the Waffle House (or maybe I would, if I felt like I liked the kid). But "chico" is a term of endearment. I've never heard it said without some sweetness and tenderness... it doesn't sound the same as "hey kid" delivered in a derogatory way.
Nah. This is like it is in political discussions or online discussions, but in real life, in real time, it is not this way.
You want to use standard and customary forms of communcation, though. You can be a little friendlier, or a little more formal, but it's never good to stray too far if meeting or talking to a person the first time.
However, if you get a bead on the person and their personality, you can adjust your style to theirs is best.
This is corporate / chain restaurant America, and you will probably find the same in a chain restaurant in Spain. Typical mozos in Spain are just chill waiters like good waiters at normal restaurants in America. Anyone who goes "My name is Bobby..." is being forced to up-sell and act like a real estate agent by the restaurant company they work for, rather than be themselves. A good waiter anywhere in the world simply listens, responds, makes a joke, and serves your food. That is as true in America as it is in Barcelona.
Everyone in business is "fake." Your auto repair person, the person at Best Buy, people at the clothing store. Of course people are "fake."
However, they are people, too. I am always SUPER SUPER nice to people who are "fake" to me in restaurants or clothing stores or wherever, and they so much appreciate it that 95% of them actually are NOT fake nice to me anymore. As I wrote elsewhere, many times I got a desserts "on the house" at restaurants when I go out in groups, because I make it so enjoyable for the wait staff.
Of COURSE it is angling for tip money. I have walked out without paying a tip for crappy service. I paid zero.
I know wait staff is "fake" nice because they want tips, but if I'm genuinely nice to them then they are "real" nice. And if you are a regular at a restaurant, and tip well, everyone will know you and you will be treated as royalty. And you usually get the same server, who knows your kids names, where you work, and actually they care about you, but yeah, the customer knows the waiter or waitress does not work for free, of course. Neither does the customer.
And, we are all fake to people who give us money. We are ALL fake to our bosses. Nobody will go to their boss and be all, "Hey you fucking moron, another stupid fucking idea you have." Even if that is what one truly thinks. We all have different masks for different occasions.
In Europe, and Catalonia maybe, tipping is not expected, so it is not the culture. If I was there, I would not tip.
But again, the whole argument is ridiculous. If the meal is $30 (or euros), and a 15% tip is $4.50, then you pay $35 (I round up). If no tipping was allowed, the restaurant raises the price to $35. It's the same exact thing. Except if you get a REAL bad waitstaff, you pay $30, because that is what the tip is for. And bad service is if they are jerks, not if they spill a glass of wine on you, which sucks but is an honest mistake that can happen to any of us. I know a waitress who did that and she knew the customer well and bought him a nice shirt for the next time he came back.
But again, you pay the exact same price either way. So not sure why people have so much vitriole against it. And, so many Americans LOVE the custom of tipping. A lot of people go back to the same restaurants and love supporting a waiter or waitress that treat them well. I love paying tips, I usually don't pay less than 25%.
Right, I understand what you are saying. Many say the same exact thing.
However, while you don't like it, a vast majority of Americans DO like it. I like it. The staff like it. Management likes it.
I guess the solution is that if someone doesn't like tipping, they should never ever go out to restaurants here in the USA. That would take care of it instantly for you.
But again, as I said, you will pay the exact same or more if tipping is included in the price! The exact same or more.
The thing is that if you don't want to leave a tip, don't. It's so easy. Just don't. Most wait staff would rather a dinner party leave without paying the tip rather than have whining - who wouldn't?
I've never had staff get angry with me and I've been going to restaurants probably longer than you've been alive. So I don't know where you're getting this from, unless you are lying for effect, to falsely bolster your case.
I've never had entitle person ever. I've always had fantastic relationships with the wait staff. Because THEY WANT to give you a great experience so that they can get a nice juicy tip. It's not fake on their side, any more than a Disney worker or auto repair shop owner is nice to their customers.
I've had such a good time with some wait staff, that they give me free desserts. I remember once my reputation for getting free desserts got around to a group of friends I occasionally hung out with. We were at the restaurant and said that it was bullshit and to do it right at that restaurant. I did. The waiter gave me a free dessert. Which are restaurants' main money makers.
Waiters are required to pay taxes on tips, but you are right, if they are in cash, well, they can break the law, but that's the same exact thing as if someone doesn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. Anyone can break the law.
And as I also said, a LOT of restaurants, even high-end restaurants in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco have tried no tips. But it was a disaster in almost all cases. Their wait staff would quit all the time, because a good wait staff person can make fantastically more money in tips. If a restaurant pays $25/hour (good luck on that) the wait staff would be paid $50K/year, but a good waiter can make $100K+ on tips. So the wait staff quit the no-tipping restaurants and move to a better, for them, restaurant.
But really, you are paying the exact same, or more, if it is all included in one bill with no break out. And by breaking out healthcare costs, you will actually pay less money for the meal than all included.
As far as healthcare and education being free in EU, that is irrelevant.
Im also assuming that a lot of waiters dont pay taxes on the tips (at least when they are paid in cash), which would probably account for some of the difference in income between salary and tips. Here in the EU (most of the countries) at least we have good healthcare and education that is payed from those taxes, so you dont need to pay a 1k private insurance on a waiters salary.