My response to this approach has always been the middle finger. If someone can't afford me even the minimal level of respect, I'll leave. My worth is not dependent upon what other people think.
I don't see the above quote as particularly disrespectful in context. It's a bit like a friend who has just spent half an hour talking you into going for that new wonderful job, and says 'or you could stay in your crummy current job'.
Basically he's saying: "I think this way of doing things is awesome. Here's how to do it my way. Your way of doing it is crappy compared to mine, but hey it's your choice to continue being a substandard performer."
Even your example is riddled with condescension, with your judgment from on high that your friend's job is "crummy". It's not only disrespectful; it betrays an unsavory vanity on your part.
If your worth is independent of what he thinks or says, why not listen to him and make decisions based on the merits of his argument instead of letting the emotional content throw you off? I'm not saying I'm capable of doing that, just that it's what I'm striving for. :)
I'd still listen to what they have to say, but I'd consider it to be untrustworthy information, as their insult against those who do things differently would tell me that they have a strong enough emotional investment in their decision that they're unable to rationally consider the alternatives.
Either that or they're being manipulative, which is also a big red flag.
