I was once a childless single white male programmer. Oh, and an asshole. Didn't realize it at the time but I wised up. Give him time and cut him a little slack, he's entitled to his opinion.

He's entitled to his (ignorant) opinions, but he's not entitled to be so pointlessly rude and cruel with his method of expressing it.

If this was a dinner party, I'd quietly ask him to excuse himself, and he'd never be invited again. His choice of language was pointlessly cruel and outrageous.

I suspect he didn't view it as being rude, he viewed it as doing the right thing. He probably truly believes what he is saying, I used to think stuff sort of like that. My guess is he is somewhere between 23-32 years old, that was my stupid range :)

I guess the point is don't assume he's being an asshole, a real asshole would troll harder. I think he believes what he is saying. Yeah, it's rude but I'm not sure I'd be willing to write the guy off.

If all conversations were limited to dinner-party politeness, we'd remain trapped in a state of childlike obliviousness about the real disagreements and difficulties of the world.

(My dinner party would welcome both paul and thaumasiotes, as people able to speak about a difficult topic calmly, with strong and contrasting perspectives based on real experience. In contrast, yscale would be asked to apologize or leave for content-free name-calling.)

Saying "cost of replacing the thing" about a baby, to a father, was not calm speech about a difficult topic.

It was pointlessly rude and provocative. It was an indefensible way to express his underlying opinion.

And if you were paying attention, you would've realized I emphasized his method of expressing the opinion far more than the opinion itself.

I agree with your point of view, but I don't think you've phrased it productively, let alone respectfully. I know it's a touchy topic, but you'll be a better advocate if you avoid flying off the handle.

I'd also be willing to bet that he programs in languages like Ocaml and Haskell.