What stood out the most to me was the distinction between guilt and shame. When you belittle a child and insult their character, they're less likely to make amends and more likely to withdraw.

I draw parallels to the way we treat criminals in our society. We cast them out and question their character and distance them from ourselves. This dumps a lot of shame on them, and might produce the same results as seen with the children; rather than feel guilt and make amends, they feel shame and withdraw.